Wishing for a Miracle
by katierosefun
Summary: [Reader x Kirk. Post Into Darkness.] Everyone on the USS Enterprise knew about Captain Kirk's death and revival. For two entire weeks, you weren't allowed to see him. When you're finally allowed, you decided that it was high time to say something.


**Why, hello, Trekkies! Katierosefun here!**

**Yes, I had to satisfy my FCC (fictional character crush) of Jim Kirk. I suffer terribly from Jim Kirk-itis. Do you suffer, too? **

**I suppose this is something of a sequel to 'Dreaming About the Things That We Could Be', (also a Reader x Kirk story...) but it can be read separately. :)**

**The only warning I suppose I have is that this is aimed at the female audience...or at least, I think so. I'm not really sure if I mentioned if the reader was a boy or a girl. I suppose it can be read if you were a girl or a boy, but it was originally made for the girls. **

**(I once received a PM from someone who was offended that my other reader x Kirk story was for females...so I'm trying to avoid getting messages like that. :/)**

**As always, enjoy!**

* * *

You thought that you were a level-headed, steady person.

You thought that you could control your own emotions. After all, you've done a pretty good job of it after finding out that you were working under the guidance of _James Kirk, _who just so happened to be a person who you fancied during your Academy days when you first noticed him.

Of course, you thought that all he was was…trouble. And you were right.

He was the kind of person who took girls home every night, the kind of person who was some sort of reckless genius who could drink every night without getting kicked out of school.

It would have been pretty bad if you decided to be with him.

And when he left for the USS Enterprise in only his _third year_ of Starfleet Academy, you figured that it was over with. You wouldn't see him again, and he definitely wouldn't recognize you as that person who he flirted with in the first months of school.

However, as luck would have it, you just happened to be working in the USS Enterprise.

For the first couple years, you managed to become something of a _friend_ to Jim. It was odd—once you had gotten over the fact that you were actually a _part of the crew_, you and Jim started to talk a bit more.

From what started to simple halfhearted smiles went to strolling around the Enterprise during breaks and hiding from Leonard McCoy.

Of course, the CMO, Leonard, otherwise dubbed as 'Bones' by Jim, was a good friend of yours as well. He was probably the first friend that you had ever made on the Enterprise and he was almost like a father to you.

For a while, life almost seemed perfect—too perfect.

But then Khan came. And so many people died.

Including Jim.

Well, sort of. You think he died—you saw his body in the body bag.

You felt yourself growing cold at that very thought. You _saw_ Jim in his body bag.

You remembered that your heart was breaking and you were blinking away tears from your eyes as Leonard slowly unzipped the bag.

Jim's face was so…still in your eyes. He looked peaceful, but that only made you sadder. You thought that you wouldn't ever hear his laugh or see his smile again…and you would never be able to tell him how much you liked him—how hard you tried to conceal your emotions whenever you were next to him.

But now he's alive.

Now he's back.

For two entire weeks, you weren't allowed to see him. The only people who _could_ see him were Leonard and some other medics, but that was only because they needed to look after Jim.

At first, you were annoyed when Leonard told you that you wouldn't be allowed to help, even though you, too, were a former medical student in Starfleet.

"Why can't I help?" You had demanded, grabbing Leonard's sleeve. "You're going to need as many people as you can!"

"I'm sorry, [Y/N], but we just can't afford to…especially not you." Leonard's voice was soft, but it held the same firm notes that you knew so well.

You opened your mouth to ask what he meant, but it only took you one look from him to piece it all together.

He knew.

He knew that you liked Jim.

Temporarily horrified and embarrassed, you let go of Leonard's sleeve and quickly backed away. Your face was heated up and you could feel the sting of tears in your eyes.

"[Y/N]…" Leonard had started to say but with a spin on your heel, you ran away as fast as you could.

During those two weeks, you had hardly spoken to Leonard. It was painful to know that he knew how much you cared about the captain. How long did he know? Would he tell Jim?

Every time you say Leonard, you would automatically duck to the side and pray that he wouldn't see you. You felt bad about avoiding him, but you just couldn't bring yourself to talk to him.

Finally, Leonard walked into your quarters. He looked tired and rumpled, but he had a small, relieved smile on his face.

"He's awake." Leonard told you quietly. "You should go see him."

You looked up at the doctor with wide eyes and you mumbled, "Are you mad at me?"

Leonard snorted. "Mad? Why would I be mad at you?" He asked.

"I just…thought that you wouldn't like the idea that I would like Jim." You replied.

Leonard paused and he placed a hand on your shoulder. "[Y/N], it doesn't matter. Not right now, anyways." He said. "I'll admit that I was a bit surprised…but just be careful around him, will you? I've seen what he's done to girls and I don't want you to become his next…bitch or whatever."

You smiled weakly. "Thanks, Len." You said quietly. "I promise that I won't let that happen."

"You better not, kiddo." Leonard replied and gave you a gentle shove towards the door. "Go on, then."

With another grateful smile at him, you turned back around and ran through the halls of the Starfleet Medical Center. You pushed past some passing medics and finally came to a stop at Jim's door.

You took a deep breath and straightened yourself. With trembling hands, you opened the door.

Jim was in his bed, his eyes open and cheerful. Perhaps he was a bit tired, but you didn't really care at the moment.

God, he was alive.

"Jim." You whispered hoarsely.

Jim looked up and grinned. "Hey, [Y/N]. Surprised?"

You blinked frantically and then, without warning, darted to his bedside and wrapped your arms around his neck. Jim grunted in surprise but you felt him slowly place his arms on your back.

"Nice to see you, too." He mumbled into your ear. "Did you miss me that much?"

You swallowed painfully and looked up. "What do you think, dumbass?" You asked quietly. "Of course I missed you."

Jim looked down at you and for a couple of minutes, you allowed yourself to get lost in his bright, blue eyes. You could feel his heartbeat from underneath him and feel every single breath and—

"Are you okay?" Jim asked quietly. "You…don't look so good."

You let out a shaky, forced laugh and replied, "Well, it's not every day that your friend dies and comes back to life."

Jim squeezed your arm, sending electric sparks and heat through your entire body. "I'm here now." He said. "It won't happen again."

You swallowed again, hard, and realizing that you still had your arms around him, quickly sat down at his bedside. "I just…_why _did you do that, Jim?" You asked.

"Why do you think I did it?" Jim asked with a smile.

"For the crew, I know, but…weren't you scared? Didn't you think about what exactly would happen to me—I mean, _all _of us if you were really dead?" You whispered. "Jim, we saw you in a _body bag. _We all saw you in a body bag."

You felt tears springing again in your eyes and Jim's smile faded. He sat up slowly and reached up, slowly brushing away some of the tears. You shivered from his touch and bowed your head.

"Hey…it's fine, now, [Y/N]. We're all okay." Jim murmured quietly.

_Maybe you're okay, but what about the rest of us? Do you really think that we're all just going to return to normal after all this? _You thought to yourself but gave him a small nod.

Jim removed his hand and gave you a smile. "Come on…smile, will you?" He asked. "It's weird seeing you like this. It's not you."

You shrugged away his hands abruptly and stood up. Something inside you had snapped in half. How could Jim ask you to smile? After everything?

Was it all just an "oh, I'm sorry that I died. Let's pretend that everything's okay," for Jim?

"I have to go." You muttered coolly, turning around to walk out of the room.

"Wait, [Y/N]—what's wrong? Why're you just—" Jim started to ask, confused, and you whirled around with a glare.

"This is really easy for you, isn't it, Jim?" You asked, glowering. "You died and you don't have anything else to say about it? Just some stupid pep talk?" You stomped your foot. Jim was staring at you with wide, surprised eyes as you continued to rant on.

"You have _no _idea how scared we were, Jim! How scared _I_ was!" Your voice cracked and you felt sobs threatening to take over. But you wouldn't cry again in front of him—not right now.

"I…I _like_ you, Jim." You said furiously, feeling heat shoot up to your face and your neck. "I went insane when I found out that you were dead—and then I couldn't see you for two weeks because Leonard was working on you. I couldn't see you because he thought that I wouldn't be able to handle it."

"You know what? He was right—I couldn't handle it, Jim. I couldn't and…" You paused and took a deep, shuddery breath. You could feel Jim's eyes fixed on you and you looked back up.

"Losing you was awful." You finished quietly, rubbing violently at your eyes. "And how you could just act so calm about it…well, it's unnerving."

For a full minute, the two of you were silent. You held your breath and he silently watched you from his bed.

"[Y/N]—" He started and you quickly lifted a hand.

"I have to go now." You mumbled, pressing a hand on the door but Jim called, "[Y/N], come here."

You froze and closed your eyes. You pressed your forehead against the door. _He always did this. _

Slowly, forcefully, you turned around. "Yes?" You asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

Jim gestured to his bedside and you walked haltingly towards him. You finally reached his bedside and without a warning, Jim wrapped his arms around you and your breath was temporarily knocked out.

"Jim?" You whispered.

"[Y/N], I'm sorry." Jim said quietly. "I'm sorry."

You buried your head in his shoulder and you whispered, "I know that you are now."

Jim let out a small, light laugh and he tilted up your chin. You two were both silent and you were suddenly aware that you were leaning closer and closer towards him.

So was he.

You could make out every single little detail on his face—even some freckles that he might have gotten from being out in the sun in the past.

You felt his breath against your cheek and suddenly, your lips was pressed against his. It wasn't a hungry, passionate kiss, either, which you had expected when you first met Jim.

No, this kiss was something else.

Jim's hands were tracing your back and you had your hand behind his neck. You two rocked back and forth and he occasionally tilted his head for another, deeper kiss.

Little fireworks were going off in your stomach. You had never felt this close to Jim before, not in this way.

You murmured his name and he mumbled yours, which only made the fireworks explode louder.

Suddenly, the door slid open and you heard a familiar, gruff voice saying, "[Y/N], Jim needs to breathe, you know."

You felt Jim mumbling, "No, I don't. Don't listen to him, I'm fine."

You smiled but slowly separated from him. You turned around to see Leonard waiting at the door, his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised.

"Do you two want to tell me something?" He asked as you cheerfully walked towards him.

You patted his arm and grinned. "I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself, Len." You said happily and walked out the door.

The fireworks were still exploding inside.

* * *

**A/N: *****clears throat awkwardly* Um...yeah. Again, I suffer from serious Jim Kirk-itis. *turns to the readers* What about you guys? C'mon, don't be shy. XD *raises hand* **

**Leonard: ...don't let Jim hear that. His ego is as big as it is. **

**Jim: What was that? *pokes head into room* **

**Me: Umumumumumumum nothing! Len was just saying that you had to...do the review notice! **

**Jim: What? No! **

**Me: Too bad-do it! **

**Jim: *rolls eyes* Review, give constructive criticism, but no flames. Can I go now? **

**Me: Yeah, whatever. **

**Jim: *goes on my iPod* Hmmm...what's this? Why does it have my name on it? *narrows eyes* Why the hell is my name outlined in hearts? **

**Me: *screams* JIM! *grabs my iPod* MINE! GO! NOW! **

**Jim: ...okay...? But seriously, what was tha-**

**Leonard: *grabs Jim by the arm* Come on, Jimbo. Best for you not to know. **

**Me: Well, that's nice. Bye, everyone. **


End file.
